57 Things I'm Certain of
#1 I'm certain that most people are completely full of shit.
#2 I'm certain that most people would rather be right than be happy.
#3 I'm certain that doing NOTHING is sometimes the very best thing to do.
#4 I'm certain that people who gossip with us are likely gossiping about us.
#5 I'm certain that connection is not about proximity — it's about attention.
#6 I'm certain that you can only ever be as good as you are willing to be bad.
#7 I'm certain that small, consistent actions create the biggest transformations.
#8 I'm certain that measuring and keeping score are cardinal sins in any relationship.
#9 I'm certain that a winner is just a loser who tried one more time, again and again.
#10 I'm certain that life is too short to take everything so seriously — especially yourself.
#11 I'm certain that the people we think have it made are just as unsure and afraid as we are.
#12 I'm certain that being lazy or self-destructive is disrespectful to people who believe in you.
#13 I'm certain that playing poker with anyone named after a city or a color is a very bad idea.
#14 I'm certain that bad things strike fast like lightning, while the best things unfold slowly, over time.
#15 I'm certain that the only way to get started is to start moving — movement sparks motivation.
#16 I'm certain that there's never a right time. I'm also certain that the right time is RIGHT NOW.
#17 I'm certain that carrying too many yesterdays is the surest way to miss out on beautiful tomorrows.
#18 I'm certain that to truly stand out, you need to be seen — without being too visible or too available.
#19 I'm certain that forgiveness is more a gift you give to yourself, than one you give to the other person.
#20 I'm certain that anticipation softens uncertainty. It always pays to have something to look forward to.
#21 I'm certain that no one, on their deathbed, has ever regretted being too kind or too generous to others.
#22 I'm certain that asking "what could possibly go wrong?" is an invitation for everything to go wrong, possibly.
#23 I'm certain that the ideas we don't capture right away are the ones we'll never get the chance to consider again.
#24 I'm certain that snap judgments blind us, while patient observation reveals our true intentions and motivations.
#25 I'm certain that those who don't worry at all about how cool they look in cool spaces are the coolest ones there.
#26 I'm certain that mistaking attention for action is a perilous trap that derails even the most promising aspirations.
#27 I'm certain that those who criticize us the most are often the ones who do less, want less, or aspire to less than we do.
#28 I'm certain that those obsessed with other's hypocrisy are the ones who most dread having their own hypocrisy revealed.
#29 I'm certain that maybe is just a polite disguise for no. I'm also certain that no actually means not now, not yet, or yes, but
#30 I'm certain that growth requires change and often, painful change. To get what we don't have, we need to do we've never done.
#31 I'm certain that three of the most effective ways to deal with feeling bummed out is to take ACTION, LAUGH more, and HELP others.
#32 I'm certain that valuable insights can come from anyone at any time. I'm also certain that we learn more by watching and observing more.
#33 I'm certain that judging ourselves by our intentions and others by their actions always leads to misunderstanding, and often, arguments.
#34 I'm certain that children are not little versions of us but little versions of themselves. Isn't the whole point to watch them grow into who they really are?
#35 I'm certain that slow is smooth and smooth is fast. To get what we want, we need to aim high, work hard, and keep going. REMEMBER: no hurry, no pause.
#36 I'm certain how easy it is to feel like the only one. I'm also certain that this is pure fantasy — neither true nor possible. You’re NEVER the only one and neither am I.
#37 I'm certain that the best way to experience wonder and adventure is to let go of all expectations of what you may find. BANISH EXPECTATIONS, EXPAND WONDER.
#38 I'm certain that we are what we pay attention to. I'm also certain that our attention is under assault — if we don't protect it with our lives, we may no longer have it to protect.
#39 I'm certain that fretting over other people's choices, decisions, and behaviors is, at best, a distraction, and at worst, a complete waste of time. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
#40 I'm certain that I don’t know is a complete sentence. I'm also certain that we don't need to have an opinion about everything. It really pays to SHUT UP & LISTEN once in a while.
#41 I'm certain that saying no REGULARLY and having uncomfortable conversations OFTEN are two of the most crucial things we can do for our future success, happiness, and well-being.
#42 I'm certain that we cannot do it alone. That great saying — fast alone, far together — is so true. I'm also certain that the people we surround ourselves with matter enormously. Choose them carefully.
#43 I'm certain that action is the thing. We're all guaranteed to get stuck, stall out, and fall flat on our faces. That's not important. What is important is to know how to get moving again? THE ANSWER? ACTION.
#44 I'm certain that seeing others as OTHER is extremely dangerous. I'm also certain that when we don't understand someone else's social or political views, it helps to assume they hold those beliefs to feel less afraid.
#45 I'm certain that curiosity eases anxiety. When you feel lost — ASK QUESTIONS; when you feel nervous around others — ASK QUESTIONS; when you want to know more about anyone or anything — ASK QUESTIONS.
#46 I'm certain that what fires together, wires together. Our brains absorb everything we say aloud and think silently. The more we repeat these thoughts, the more they shape our beliefs, perceptions, decisions, and behaviors.
#47 I'm certain that great listeners ask great questions and great questions make for better conversations worth having. PS: I also know for sure that most people aren't listening at all. PPS: This realization really bummed me out.
#48 I'm certain that the only way to stop worrying about not sleeping is to stop worrying you'll never sleep. You're human — eventually you will sleep. The surest way to screw yourself over is to buy into the anxiety narrative around not sleeping.
#49 I'm certain that every mistake we make is a form of clinging to the past — clinging to what we did, who we were, what made us feel safe, who we knew how to be, and what we knew how to do. I'm also certain that letting go of the past is the only way to open the door to the future.
#50 I'm certain that showing up consistently, time and again, is the greatest act of love and respect we can offer others. Just ask children. BE THERE ALWAYS. Pay careful, exquisite attention to everything children do and say, including what they leave unsaid. Remember what they tell you, and make sure they know you remember.
#51 I'm certain that in order to be seen, you must see others; in order to be heard, you must genuinely listen to others; in order to feel joy, you must bring joy to others; in order to ease your pain, you must comfort others; in order to grow, you must help others grow; and in order to truly know yourself, you must help others discover who they are.
#52 I'm certain that fear can derail even our best-laid plans. No matter how carefully we plan or prepare, things will still go wrong — that's just life. I'm also certain that knowing something and fearing it are very different: knowing is understanding and moving forward, while fearing is staying frozen in place. Finally, I'm also certain that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.
#53 I'm certain that truly seeing others and being seen by them are among the most important human experiences. But we forget. We get lost in our own heads, our own dramas. Instead, FOCUS OUTWARD. Tell someone you respect that you admire them. Ask a stranger how they're doing — and really listen to their response. Connect with someone in passing by pointing to the sky and remarking what a beautiful day it is — and when they respond with a smile, tell them you hope they enjoy it.
#54 I'm certain that the nights we obsessively plan are NEVER the magical and legendary ones. Gather your peeps and just go out — no plan, no expectations. Magical and legendary won't happen every night. It won't even happen most nights, or many nights. But every once in a while a night you didn't plan will be MAGICAL & LEGENDARY in a way all the nights you do plan never are. PS: this is why weddings usually stink — too much frantic, anxious planning. Not enough serendipity built in.
#55 I'm certain that grief doesn't end. I lost my younger brother to cancer 23 years ago. He was 30. I know that life goes on — it has to. But anyone who thinks that grief is a discreet system with a defined beginning, middle, and end IS WRONG. Grief, especially profound, shocking grief, has no end. It changes you, stays with you, and becomes a part of who you are. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way because I refuse to define my relationship with my brother, even today, with anything even resembling ENDINGS.
#56 I'm certain that our hobbies, interests, relationships — our whole lives, really — have been digitized, democratized, gentrified, homogenized, and commodified. I'm also certain that we are novelty-seeking, social beings who evolved to connect and cooperate. Isn't it time we reprioritize human well-being and everything that makes us human, honoring the millions of years of evolution that brought us here? One more thing I'm certain of is that we didn't come this far by sitting indoors, alone, communicating through a screen.
#57 I'm certain that the questions matter more than the answers. I'm also certain that children ask the best questions. And, why wouldn't they? Think back to your own childhood as a kid living in a vast, mysterious world you hardly understood. From that perspective, children's endless questions make perfect sense. So why, I wonder, do so many adults get frustrated by them? Maybe next time LISTEN to all of a child's questions, ENCOURAGE them to ask even more, and SHOW INTEREST in what they want to know. If you happen to know the answer, THEN ANSWER. If you don't know the answer, maybe try ASKING THEM A QUESTION