32 Inescapable Truths About Life (Whether You Like It or Not)
Life doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with immutable realities — some we learn quickly, others take a lifetime. Much like the fundamental Laws of Nature, each of these principles are unavoidable, unyielding, and incontrovertible. They exist whether we like them or not — whether we acknowledge them or not. From the quiet force of relationships to the inevitable sting of failure, these truths shape our lives, for better or worse. We can pretend they don’t apply to us — for a while, at least. But sooner or later, life will force them into our experience, no matter how much we resist. They’re uncomfortable, often humbling, and at times, deeply unsettling. But in the end, they are the keys to living fully, with clarity, wisdom, and a deeper understanding of what truly matters.
Perfection is a Myth
It’s not a goal — it’s a trap. A clever excuse for procrastination, not a path to success. The best things in life unfold when we stop chasing flawlessness and start embracing imperfection, moving forward even when things aren’t perfect.
Value The Truth ＞ Being Right
Would you rather live your life in truth or illusion? This isn't the rhetorical question it appears to be because a shocking number of people openly admit that they would rather see the world through rose colored glasses of their own design. This, of course, doesn't even include those who are so lost in their delusional fiction that they don't even have a decision to make. Ouch!
Down here in the real world, we now know that the happiest, smartest, and most successful people don’t just tolerate being wrong — they actively seek it out as an opportunity for growth. Being wrong is how they grow to understand and appreciate what's right and what's true. One of the great beauties of life is that we each get to decide how we want to play this one.
I'll leave you with something to ponder: do you or any of your friends actually like anyone who always has to be right? Didn't think so. Remember: this isn't about defending your ego; it's about prioritizing real truth over ugly pride.
Shiny Objects Make Us Duller
We live in a culture obsessed with shiny distractions — material things, fleeting trends, and superficial desires. We believe more stuff will enhance our lives, yet more often than not, it does the opposite. The growing collection of things just clouds our judgment, dulls our sense of purpose, and robs us of the deeper satisfactions we're seeking. This is one of those lessons most people need to learn for themsevles. I know I did. No matter how many warnings we hear about shiny object syndrome, it's hard to break free of its hold until, one day, we finally do.
Relationships ＞ Everything Else
There's not a whole lot to add here. This is one of those things you either already know or will come to learn. There's no maybe's with this one, but there is proof: The Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest-running study of its kind, which began tracking participants in 1938, has uncovered a single incontrovertible fact: strong relationships are the most important factor in determining happiness, health, and longevity. PERIOD!
Lying Is A Trap You Can't Escape
We've all been told that lying is wrong because it’s unfair to those we deceive, breaking trust and damaging relationships. Though true, there's a far more insidious, far more damaging consequence of lying. Every time we lie we put up a barrier between who we truly are and the version we project — we isolate ourselves. It's not just the people we deceive who suffer — it’s us. Lying erodes our integrity, chips away at our confidence, and disconnects us from those we care about. The biggest harm isn’t that others are misled; it’s that we lose touch with the truth of our own lives. Don't lie. Not just because it's unfair to others, but because it isolates us from the life we could have had.
They Are Not Thinking About You
This one is difficult to internalize because it challenges our innate fears. Most of us significantly overestimate how much other people notice or think about us — a phenomenon known as the Spotlight Effect. Consider the absurdity: how often do we let this imagined attention or scrutiny dictate our lives and actions? Depending on the person — it's either OFTEN, A LOT, or ALWAYS. I personally have a permanent residence in the third camp. Not good.
The reality of this one, while sometimes difficult to fully take on board, is also a liberating truth.
Never Mistake Motion For Progress
In our culture, busyness is celebrated as a badge of honor, but it can be deceptive. Just because you're moving doesn't mean you're moving forward. Keep the following question top of mind: is this action helping me move closer to my goals, or am I just busy for the sake of being busy? Remember: action without intention is just distraction.
The Best Apology Is Changed Behavior
Words are easy and cheap; actions are hard. And they speak louder than anything you could say. How many empty ”I'm sorry's" have you heard? Yeah, same here. The sorry truth behind ”I’m sorry” is that most apologies are bullshit. The best way to actually show you're actually sorry is through your choices, priorities, efforts, and behaviors. Live your true apologies, don’t speak them.
Regret Is Far More Painful Than Failure
The bad news: we all face either the pain of regret or the pain of failure.
The good news: we get to choose which one.
I realize some may dispute the claim that regret is way more painful than failure. Please, don’t take it from me — or from yourself. Ask anyone who's lived long enough, and they'll tell you, with certainty, that regret is the far heavier burden to carry.
Feelings Are Messengers, Not Masters
This one is huge. I still remember the first time someone told me "feeling aren't facts". Huh? What are you talking about? Of course they are. NO, they are not! Feelings are like signals — important, but not necessarily true. Let them inform you, but don’t let them control you. The goal isn't to suppress your feelings, but to use them wisely.
Control Is an Illusion; Focus on Influence
We waste so much energy trying to control the uncontrollable — other people, outcomes, even time itself. Control is an illusion, but influence is a powerful reality. Focus on what you can influence—the rest is beyond your grasp. Master influence, and you master much of life.
Everyone You Admire Is Still Figuring It Out
If they don’t have it all figured out, how could you? You can’t. You don’t. No one ever does. No one.
Journeys > Summits & Process > Outcomes
If your only motivation for climbing to the top is the summit view or the Instagram posts you'll share once you get there, you won’t make it. The truth is, the journey is all you really have — enjoy it.
"I Don't Know" Are the Most Powerful Words
Three benefits of saying "I Don't Know"
-saying I don't know gets you closer to the truth
-saying I don't know if you ACTUALLY don't know, is honest
-saying I don't know is the most effective way to shut up the person who always knows everything.
You Become What You Do, Not What You Say
Actions always, always, always speak louder than words. If your actions don’t align with your intentions, it’s time to rethink your approach. You are what you do, day in and day out, not what you say or claim to believe.
Your Comfort Zone Is Where Dreams Go to Die
True growth and success never happen in the safe, predictable space we call our comfort zone. If it’s always easy or comfortable, it’s not valuable or worth striving for. Every meaningful achievement — whether personal, professional, or creative — requires discomfort. It’s only by stepping beyond the familiar, confronting fear, and embracing uncertainty that we discover our potential. Dreams aren’t realized by staying where it’s comfortable; they’re forged in the fire of challenge and resistance.
You Can't Please or Win The Approval of Everyone
Spending your time trying to make everyone happy is a fool’s errand.
Try to make everyone happy
and you end up sad.
But it’s worse than that — people-pleasing and chasing approval strip away your ability to form authentic relationships. The victory you’re hoping for doesn’t exist on this path.
Show Me Your Friends and I'll Show You Your Future
The company we keep has an undeniable impact on our lives. The people we surround ourselves with shape our lives, influence our mindset, and play a pivotal role in determining our future. Closely tied to this truth is another: you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Who you choose to keep close can either propel you forward or hold you back, making it essential to carefully evaluate the company you keep. Choose them wisely and carefully. The people we allow around us have an equal ability to make us and unmake us.
We Pay The Highest Prices For The Most Important Lessons
Growth isn't cheap or free. Growing and learning often requires significant discomfort, sometimes even pain and struggle. It may not be pleasant, but it is universally true that the most valuable lessons often come with the greatest costs.
Painful mistakes, difficult experiences, and emotional struggles teach us the most because pain forces us to confront reality, re-evaluate our choices, and adapt. The intensity of these experiences leaves an indelible mark that reshapes our reality, leaving us wiser and more resilient.
You Can’t Control Time, But You Can Control How You Spend It
Time is the one resource we can’t get back, yet we often treat it as if it’s infinite. We get caught up in distractions, procrastination, and moments of passivity. But the reality is that we are all constantly spending time — whether we’re aware of it or not. We don't control how much time we have, but we can control how we use it. Invest your time in things that matter: growth, relationships, learning, and meaningful pursuits.
Curiosity and Learning Are Life’s Two Most Valuable Currencies
People who aren't curious don't learn. And people who don't learn, don't improve, grow, or adapt. Harsh? Not really. We can start with the fact that we're all curious about something. The question is whether the object of our curiosity has any actual value or real currency in the world we live in. If it does, GO, and keep going. If it doesn't, find something more valuable to be curious about.
Continuously learning and maintaining a curious mindset is more important now than perhaps ever before. Our world is changing so fast and so fundamentally that the ability to acquire new knowledge and skills is more valuable now than it's ever been.
The Blows Hit Hardest In The Early Rounds. Just Keep Getting Up
In boxing, the early rounds are the toughest because you're still adjusting, finding your rhythm, and facing the unknown. The early blows feel the hardest because you're not yet conditioned to the fight—you haven't built the resilience or learned how to roll with the punches. Same thing with life. In the beginning, setbacks feel like crushing defeats because we’re not accustomed to failure or the struggle that comes with pursuing something worthwhile. The key: if you keep getting up, you build the strength, stamina, and ability to withstand whatever comes next.
You’re Only as Strong or Weak as the Stories You Choose to Believe
The narratives running around in your head shape your reality. Tell yourself you're capable, resilient, and worthy, and you'll act accordingly. Cling to stories of inadequacy, fear, or failure, and those, too, will define your world. Your self-talk matters — edit your internal script with care.
Never Take Advice or Listen to Criticism from People on the Sidelines
Why would you? At least you're on the field trying — playing, competing, winning, losing, learning, fighting, taking a shot. They're standing on the sidelines in their big, comfy poncho judging, whining, and criticizing. What they don't realize, but you should, is that all the arrows they're shooting at you, are actually arrows aimed at themselves. Ignore them and stay on the field.
Never Allow the Quest for More to Distract from the Beauty of Enough
He is richest who is content with the least,
for content is the wealth of nature.
-Socrates
The pursuit of more can be intoxicating — more money, more success, more stuff, more recognition. But if we're not careful, it becomes a never-ending chase that leaves us feeling empty. True contentment comes from appreciating what we already have. The beauty of enough is often hidden in plain sight, waiting for us to notice.
There's another side to this one which we can look at through the lens of the much-revered Alcoholics Anonymous aphorism, "It's an inside job." The intoxicating pursuit for more is often a distraction from the work of getting right or right-sized from the inside out — which works — as opposed to outside in — which never does.
When You Think Something Nice About Someone, Say It Immediately
There is incredible power in expressing appreciation, admiration, or love in the moment. Sharing with someone what they mean to you can lift them up and make them feel seen. It can even change their life, to say nothing about deepening your bond with them.
The deeper, flip side to not taking the opportunity to share these thoughts with others is that it can leave you with a lingering regret that can never be soothed. When that person is no longer around, those unspoken words will likely feel heavy and burdensome.
The next time you have something kind to share with someone, SHARE IT RIGHT AWAY.
High Expectations ➔ Disappointment; High Appreciation ➔ Enrichment
Most disappointments come from our expectations of reality and not reality itself. When we lower our expectations, and instead, appreciate what unfolds, we naturally feel more contented and grateful. Try hard to expect less of people, moments, and outcomes, and you just might find yourself pleasantly surprised.
The Grass Is Always Greener — Until You’re Standing on the Other Side
It's an illusion and a lie that other people's lives are easier or better than yours. We tend to idealize what we don’t have, believing that achieving it will solve our problems and make us happier. IT WON'T. The reason their grass looks greener is because you're only seeing the best parts of it from a distance. Don't judge from afar. If you want to know what their grass really looks like, get closer where you can see all the flaws, difficulties, and complexities you couldn't see before.
Life is nuanced. Every side of the metaphorical fence has its challenges. By recognizing that no path is without obstacles, we can learn to find beauty and fulfillment right where we are, instead of constantly chasing the 'illusion of better' elsewhere.
You Never Have Enough Mentors, Teachers, Or Intellectual Sparring Partners
However shocking it is, by now, we're all aware of the stunning decline in friendships and time spent with friends, particularly among Gen Z and Gen Alpha. This is a very big deal and one that needs to be addressed at the societal level.
However, our concern here is something a little different from friendship — people need more mentors, teachers, and intellectual sparring partners. These are people in your life who will call you on your bullshit, question your assumptions, push you to think more deeply, and force you to level up. At a time when people are already struggling to find and maintain friendships, they're doing an equally great disservice to themselves by not having more mentors, teachers, and intellectual sparring partners in their lives.
Progress Isn’t Linear — It’s Up. Down. Sideways. Bumpy. Way Up. Way Down...
Progress, by definition, is not linear. The nature of growth is inherently unpredictable, because life itself is unpredictable. Setbacks, advances, and long periods of stasis are critical features of the journey. We don't live in a vacuum; our emotions, circumstances, and external events all have an impact. Fluctuations make real progress dynamic.
Progress often involves revisiting old struggles with new perspectives, falling back before leaping forward, or even stalling out before finding a fresh path. By embracing the non-linear path, we avoid the frustration that comes from expecting constant forward momentum. We learn to appreciate the bumps, the moments of stillness, and the downturns, understanding that they are a necessity.
Never Leave Angry; Hug Them Like It Might Be the Last Time You Ever See Them
Life is terrifyingly random and more precious than you can possibly imagine. Never leave your people angry and hug them like it might be the last time you'll ever see them because you'll never know when it will be.
Our Growth and Happiness Are Directly Correlated to the Number of Hard Conversations We’re Willing to Have
This one is so interesting because our intuitions about what will help us grow and be happy tend to be completely backwards. It’s not about ease, comfort, or avoiding the messy, complicated stuff. The real catalyst for growth and happiness lies in leaning into discomfort and challenges. This is particularly true of avoiding uncomfortable, difficult, and even painful conversations. These challenging talks create clarity, deepen connections, and build resilience. Dodging them only puts your own progress on hold. Embracing discomfort is the secret to leveling up.